Letters to Finley: Kairos

Being a mom, your mom, is better than I expected. I have dreamed of what it would be like to be a mom since I was old enough to carry a doll and I carried around (dolls longer than most girls), but it is so much better than I could have ever make believed.  Today, I was carrying you around the grocery store trying to do a little speed shopping and all of sudden you just grabbed my cheeks with both of your hands and pulled my face to yours and laughed and laughed and laughed. I stopped right in the middle of the produce section and had a laugh fest with you. We must have looked pretty funny with our foreheads smooched together cracking up.

It's these moments, these simple moments that catch me off guard that I am so deeply grateful for. 

Finley just being Finley....

Finley finds her feet

I could just stare at her all day....seriously I could.

He carries her everywhere, she thinks she's flying.

One of the biggest decisions a person has to make in their life is who they want to spend it with and I chose this guy. I knew the moment I met him, he was the one for me, I didn't over think it, I didn't over analyse it, I just let what would be, be.   I have to be completely honest, I think I just lucked out, I mean I had no idea he was going to be this wonderful.  He is an amazing dad, he is an awesome husband, he is my best friend and he is the only person that I can imagine "doing" life with. Nope it's not our anniversary, it's not Valentines day, it just a plain old Monday and I am writing this just because.....just because, he is great and I thought you should know. 

A new hobby

"I am always doing that which I cannot do, 

in order that I may learn how to do it."

                                                                                            Pablo Picasso

I have always loved photography, other peoples' photography.  It isn't something that comes natural to me like other art forms. Photography has always intimidated me because it is so technical, gadgety, and expensive, all things I tend to avoid. But then along came Fin and now I am obsessed with capturing her every breathing moment.  She's growing so fast, faster than my shutter speed.  Turns out I really like taking pictures.  It is all kinds of frustrating because I know what I want them to look like and I know what makes a photo "good," but dang, there are so many settings and combinations. I now know why they call it "trial and error" and not "trial and success," but I am having fun trying, learning, and in the end it doesn't really matter to me if they are a little fuzzy, a little dark, a little bad... they are my memories and I'll treasure them forever. 


I got a new lens for my birthday and it has been so exciting to play with. It does so easily what I was trying to get the lens that came with the camera to do.  There are new challenges with it, but I think with a little (okay a lot) of practice I might actually get the look I want.  Here are a few of my attempts.  I figure I should document my progress, starting with these first tries so I can see my improvement as I learn. 

Finley Grows.

1 week

1 month

2 months

3 months

 4 months

Little Squishy

    

"I shall call her my squishy 

and she shall be mine,

and you shall be my little squishy!"

~Leslie Wisniewski

I like to have a plan.  I guess you could call me a planner.  All planners know that one of the most important parts to a plan is a back up plan. My plan was to be a mom to a baby, preferably to a baby human. My baby back up plan was to be a mom to a baby Boston Terrier (cutest dogs ever!?)  If I couldn't have a human baby then I figured a furry friend would be the next best thing... BUT even BETTER than a real life human baby or a Boston Terrier is a real life human baby in a Boston Terrier onesie! 


Made just for you by Leslie. Thanks Leslie!

Proof. You are one happy newborn. 

Maybe the happiest newborn ever?

Fin 6 Weeks

Me: Fin can you smile for Momma? Smile for momma?
Where's that pretty smile?

And this is what she gave me.

Fin doing a morning jig.

I think she gets her moves (and sense of rhythm) from me.