Letters to Finley: 2 Years Old

It’s been a while since I wrote and by while I mean over a year.  I’m not sure why I stopped, I guess life just got really busy.  You’re two now. TERRIFIC two.  I put together a few snapshots of you for an “All About Me” project at your school. It made me remember the importance of documenting all the little things that make you, you. You are changing so fast and if I don’t write everything down I will forget and I don't want to forget a thing! You are so cute right now, well you have always been cute, but now you say cute things. Yesterday you set you pacifier down outside (yes, you still love your paci) and I picked it up. You didn’t know I had it and came excitedly running to me claiming, “The squirrel stole my paci!!!” Made me laugh. You are always making me laugh.

XOXO

Momma

Letters to Finley: 9 months

You are a busy bee. You want to play all the time. You love your toys, especially the ones that make noise or roll. You think peek a boo is the funniest game in the world. You learned to wave bye bye, but backwards. You wave at yourself. You still fight your sleep and hate to go to bed. Sometimes you sleep through the night, sometimes.Your favorite thing to do is to hold our hands and walk around; you want to go-go-go anywhere, and everywhere. I know that you are just steps away from the end of your baby days, but every month that goes by I love you more and I can't wait for what tomorrow brings and the day after that. 

XOXO

Momma

Letters to Finley: 8 months

It's ten o'clock, you are asleep next to me on the couch and I am trying to figure out how to put into words the essence of you, your sweetness, your, spunk your carefree charisma.  You like to stay up late, well later than most babies, you like to sleep late too. You are just awesome like that.  On the weekends your dad likes to get up early, (because he's weird like that) but you and I, we sleep in. You had such a big month full of milestones! I don't even know where to start.  You do not have to wear your helmet anymore and your noggin' looks great!  Your hair has grown a lot! I like to comb it into a mini mo-hawk  It's the cutest thing ever! You have two little teeth, I adore them.  I have started letting you try foods other than just baby food, so far pizza crust and applesauce are your favorite, but I haven't found anything yet that you won't eat. You went from army crawling to crawling, crawling! You are always on the move. Always. You are a very independent, determined, baby and are already transitioning from crawling to pulling up and cruising.  I am scared to blink, because I don't want to miss your first steps. You are growing so fast, too fast.  I had to lower your crib, because now you love to stand straight up and hold onto the rail.  It is so exciting to watch you grow, but the weird thing is, even though you are right her with me, I sometimes miss you, the littler you. I sometimes think back to how small and squishy you were when we brought you home and how you would sleep scrunched up on my chest in a frog position. The thing is I wouldn't trade now for then or then for now, I am sure all moms know what I mean and you will too someday. You will always be my baby and I'll always be your momma.

XOXO

Be Merry.

Unbearable.

It's just so sad.  Cold, lingering, unshakable grief weighs heavy on my heart for all the children, 20 children,  who lives were lost in such a horrific act of violence. Now that Finley is in my life, I can't help but picture myself in the parents' shoes who lost their children today. The parents who's babies didn't make it out of that school. Just the thought of it is a pain so intense, a grief so deep, a sadness so unbearable.

Letters to Finley: Kairos

Being a mom, your mom, is better than I expected. I have dreamed of what it would be like to be a mom since I was old enough to carry a doll and I carried around (dolls longer than most girls), but it is so much better than I could have ever make believed.  Today, I was carrying you around the grocery store trying to do a little speed shopping and all of sudden you just grabbed my cheeks with both of your hands and pulled my face to yours and laughed and laughed and laughed. I stopped right in the middle of the produce section and had a laugh fest with you. We must have looked pretty funny with our foreheads smooched together cracking up.

It's these moments, these simple moments that catch me off guard that I am so deeply grateful for. 

Letters to Finley: 7 months

The days are long the months are short.  You continue to bloom and grow.  This was a busy month, full of firsts.  We flew to Kentucky and Grams and Captain took you to the aquarium   You loved the penguins.You learned to clap and are pretty proud of it. You started sitting in a highchair at restaurants and you are pretty proud of that too. You love servers and get a lot of attention from the waitstaff.  You are famous at a few restaurants around town.  They whisper "she's here" when you come through the door and the whole staff swings by our table to say hello. You greet them with your grins and dimples. You're pretty easy to fall in love with and have lots of fans. You went swimming for the first time and turns out you're a fish just like your dad and I.  You splashed and kicked.  I was amazed how relaxed you were in the water.  You would put your head on my shoulder and just lie and float. Your chatter has become more pronounced.  You can say dada, mama, and baba, but not necessarily with meaning or purpose.  You like to hear yourself talk, I like to hear you talk too and we have the best nonsensical conversations. Everyday that goes by I love you more, I'm not sure how that is even possible, but it's true.

XOXO,
Momma